sex educatiionn byy PCK

Phua Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ...

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws,same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along theload(road),den someone come overand dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, youstill go and dig meh?? Siow ah !Useyour Blain(brain), use yourblainnn ..........

Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah,you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Notthe same shiok feeling mah. Corlight(correct) or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried outinprivate ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, useyour blainnnnn . you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!

Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also ah


[friendster]

monday

higher malay as usual. blahblah, i couldn't remember.

tuesday

had chemistry& bio test.
everything ended around 4plus.
then me&aida went to eat at kfc& proceed to the smoking area outside McDonalds to do our english holiday assignment (oral).
went home around 7 and burn the things to cd yabada yabada

Wednesday

ran to 180 bus stop with hazlin, IN THE RAIN!
enthu, huh (:
got back our hmt CA results.
i got 74 :DDDDDD
just one more PATHETIC mark and its an A1. boooos ):
nevermind. at least i could see myself improving.
but how long can i stay focus like this?
God Knows. [where's my MOTIVATOR):]

went out of higher malay class and received an sms from aida.
called her and she spoke to hazlin.
omg sheng quan, get well soon ):

rushed to NUH with her. stayed with the NCC Land guys and those from the heats until 7.40pm.
went home, and i managed to study only one part of physics.
fcuk.

thursday

physics test.
ALRIGHT. i didnt read question -.-
[INSULATOR. and i only cared about the DISCHARGE]

had the Study Skills.
it was OK. and i learnt something.
something USEFUL.

eat garlic, and be horny.
;D
no wonder i LOVE garlic. HWHAHAHA! joking!

home sweet home

friday
hais. disappointed in myself. so what if its 21?
physics. blehs
expecting to get back progress slip, but nahs.
will only get it back on monday.
i'm sooooooooo ready to get myself a chemistry tutor.
yes yes.
confirm e8/f9 for chemistry. obvious

had npcc. SLACK!
as i only helped out during campcraft.
yabada yabada.
went to kfc and ate.
wanted to go visit shengquan with zhengyang, but i don't know why we ended up at kfc leh? hmmmms

thn home .
and here i am.

i'm sleepy&tired. yawns

OH MUMMY

stop fretting and puling, aisyah.
it's time for you to log off the computer and go to sleep!

why why why?
IT'S SCHOOL TOMORROW =x



hey CORUSCATING STUDENTS 4e3s.
get ready for some ____ by Mr.Samuie tomorrow.
he's BEYOND angry.
reason being: 14 students from our class didnt hand in the FAIRYTALE COMPO. wooooooo

note to self: bring extra sweets tomorrow



oh mummy.

B00000 !

school starts tomorrow, damn!
you know what.
thinking abt school is somehow starting to irk me =/
oh no no.
friends are alright. teachers are... OK.
it's just that..all those sorts of drudgery. AH!

alright. relax. breathe in, and breathe out.
after all, it IS the "SECONDARY FOUR" life.

kinda fcuked up right now.
just completed my social studies homework, and hell it's not easy.
especially with this mood.
i cannot even think properly =x

and then, the chemistry test tomorrow.
God have mercy.
i've already studied. so PLEASE PLEASE let me pass.

speaking of chemistry, anyone care to recommend me any good chemistry tutors?
not tuition centres, cause it wont make any difference -.-


blehs.
*thinking about school again*
*bleh bleh bleh*

hmms let see.

• emaths journal
• social studies SBQ + SEQ
• geography report
• biology worksheet
• biology mindmap: Reproduction in Plants
• chemistry holiday hw [ws]
• chemistry revision [acid, bases&salt]
• physics ISPL chapter 20
• higher malay paper2

:D

oh mummy. i don't want to go school

Score Love Language
5 :Words of Affirmation
6 :Quality Time
3 :Receiving of Gifts
4 :Acts of Service
12 :Physical Touch

How to interpret your Profile Score:


Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary lovelanguage. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of yourprimary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important toyou. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.The highest possible score for any language is 12.


Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior Think backover the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answerwill lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meetyour deepest need for emotional love.


http://www.greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp

so-called "holiday".
the whole week's full of TEXTBOOKS, TYS, taiwanese dramas, school, and of course, going out lah.
please lahr, a geek like me does have a life ok.
(diyana, there's no need for you to say "I TOLD YOU SO". yes yes,i'm a GEEK! happy? heeees ) ( =.=)

MONDAY

went to Hui Xian's house with benjamin. to study & watch the Hanakimi cds that she's bought.
then went home.
anyway, borrowed Hui Xian's "It Started With a Kiss".

at night, around 9, tasvita called to help them buy some snacks.
was sort of bored, so i just agreed. slacked with them at the concourse steps until 10++ going to 11pm.

and home sweet home.

TUESDAY

was forced to wake up early cause of the chemistry practical+extra lesson.
then went home. i think.
didnt sleep. watched "It Started with a Kiss" fer 4 hours. all the way until 3.30am.

WEDNESDAY

went grandma house at night. slept there with mom&bro.
whatever, i cnt rmb -.-

THURSDAY

did some stuff. went online in the morning.
blahblah, cnt recall (haha! it's only ytd).
slept at 8! woke up at 11.
and from 11.10 all the way to 6 AM ! , watched the cds again. haha.
and woke up early the next day.

FRIDAY [today]

the concert was nice !
met aida& naiimah first, to buy our bags. heee pathetic.
blahblah, walked arnd bugis junction, thn went home.

nth much .

OMG I'M SO TIRED NOW.
better get going now.
BYE .



homeworks left: SOCIAL STUDIES, HIGHER MALAY.
ahhh die die.



HAPPY BDAE MING XIAN : 15th march . gan dong a not. HAHA

*sigh*
waiting for my geography to be printed.
*one second*
*two seconds*

YAY !
it's done !
my SIMPLE geography report is done within 5 hours.
no more procrastination.
get it over and done with people.

look who's talking -.-



geeesh its already 1.36 am!
and i've got to wake up early tomorrow!

*hum hum*
alright.
gotta go off the comp and watch some TV now.
byebye !dramaqueen!


and oh yahr, the next time i'll be online is saturday. even though its the oh-so-WOW holiday ):

"March holiday is for you to plan on your revision for your SA1. it's not the time to relax yet" - Mrs Goh.

what a bad start for the day.
was late to meet hazlin for the blood donation.
then she forgot to bring her form. so we went to her house.
& i just realised that i dun have much patience in me.
even for just FIVE minutes of waiting, i was going all, "CALL LAHR ! ahh ! cnt wait cnt wait" .
hahaa. pathetic, i know.

reached school and hazlin couldnt donate because of her underweight.
gain weight and donate with me some other time yeah hazlin [:
everything went fine after that, UNTIL . . .

the nurse said my vein for my right hand was too SOFT!
she said the same thing about my left vein too.

ms ngiam could see the disappointment in me (beneath all those smiles and lotsa "It's Okay").
she said Thanks, and comfort me by saying "You can always try again anytime you like. it doesnt mean that your vein will FOREVER be soft, ok".

geeeesh!
that kinda cheered me up.
thanks ms ngiam [:


so. DAMN the whole day was wasted just like that.
*POOF* GONE !

but my frowns were all gone when i saw this cute guy at the mrt station.
haha ! HAZLIN! ingat tak? hahahaa .
but then again, who even cares right? L0L

hazlin made me happy too.
with THEtalk in the train. haha!

went bras basah to find some USEFUL twentyyearseries.
then went around bugis.
nice [:
bought this manga. since i am too shy to ask Cheryl 4e2 for her Absolute Boyfriend, i decided to just buy it for my own.
haha !
to think of it, it's kinda wasting my money.
oh well.


went grandma house after that.
blahblahblah.
then went home.

very tired. *yawns


[ i'm a donaTOR ; donor ]
[free-flow of acceleration; free-FALL]
pisceans are WEIRD .



took this persoanlity test. on how STREET SMART are you.
and MY result is.

41-55
Super Street Smart
We've got to give it to you, you're definitely made for the streets.
You're tough, know how to handle a bad situation, and aren't afreaid to get down to the nitty-gritty. we admire your hands-on approach and how willing you are to understand the people around you. the preoblem we can find is that you might be too intuituve! you might come across as too aggressive, or strangers might think you're "WEIRD" or "STRANGE".
-TEENAGE


alright.
byebye & enjoy ur holiday.




last time, they couldnt see my life line on my palm. now, my VEIN IS TOO SOFT ?! whts next?
AHH ! *touch KEYBOARD*

hello people !

come down and support the Blood Donation Drive at Bukit Batok Secondary School tmr !
donate blood& save lives yeah !
must be at least 16 & 45kg. and girls, those having your menses, OOOPS, too bad.
me&hazlin are donating tomorrow(:
yay! we kind souls. HAHAAAA.

come ok! bring your IC along.



YEAH RIGHT. i doubt anyone will even read my posts. OH well.


anyway. this week has been bad. no no no.
make it Bad, with a BIG CAPITAL B.
got back most of my common test papers.

English, Higher Malay, Physics, Chemistry, Emaths & Social Studies.

before i shamelessly publicise my horrible results, let me just type out how i prepared for all the papers.

English - typical mindset: "English need to study meh?"

Higher Malay - studied sec3&4 peribahasa (idioms) about an hour before the paper started. worse, sec1 peribahasa ten minutes before paper.and for the summary writing, HAHA! first time i did summary without any draft/planning. how smart.

Physics & Chemistry - went to KFC to study with them. well, i DID study, but not that much. thought of continuing my revision at home but... zzzz until the next morning. so, did i even study? HMMMS

Emaths - didnt study ): just had a race with dear in doing the "exam paper" in KFC. timed ourselves and marked each other's papers after an hour. and that's the end for Emaths.

Social Studies - ok i did put in effort to do a little mindmap & studied. same goes for Geography. But i didnt look through my RedSpotPublication SS book foe examples of question etc. all i did was memorise all the facts. yups.



okok.
here it goes.

english : 14/25 . the highest in class got 20/25.

higher malay: 81/110. highest in class frm bbss is... me? luck lahr. the rest did well too. [:

Physics: 12/25 [ for someone who didnt study? kinda ok actually. haha]. highest fer e3, sadly to say, is 18. u noe wht? i'm blaming Punitha. cos of her, our foundation fer physics is like , , , XUETE ! hahaa . nvm. now that MrQuek is here to our rescue, we'll be alright i think. i have already started on getting As fer the previous class tests [:

Chemistry - "aisyah, give me your mom's contact number." WAH SEH !
clap ! i failed BADLY ! 6/25. i have no hope in chemistry so . i don't find the need to revise. it wouldnt make any difference = = oh geeesh ! i'll take back all mah words. i'm going to find a tutor soon. i need one BADLY!

Emaths - i got 32/40. pheww.

Social Studies - 11/13. WOAH. that's all i've got to say , WOAH. lotsa ppl were shocked when they found out that i'm one of the three who got L5. haha!




getting back Amaths & Geography results when school reopens.
Amaths confirm fail (again, i tried to study, but i gave up and watched tv) , and i hope i can do well for Geography. hais ):



anw went to huixian's house just now.
with Annkhay, Hazlin & of cos, huixian herself.
watched a few episodes of Hanakimi and played some games.
went home with Annkhay, more Hanakimi & here i am (:




broke ur leg? ALAHAI! take care k. and i hope tuh see u real soon.

i've got tuh believe in myself.

three quarter of my day, wasted just like that.
watching dramas on youtubes - Hanakimi&Tokyo Juliet(for TJ,one episode only la. HAHA].
my god.
WASTED ! 3/4 of the day just *POOF* .
and mah eyes.
i think i'm going to have myophia or sth later.
CHOY .

ok lahr.
my day wasnt THAT bad.
it was A TINY LIL BIT productive lahr,i think.
HEY ! at least i did my biotech concept map. HAHA .
[:

yeah so went out with my mom and kid bro for a while just now.
and the moment i stepped into the house, i switched on the comp, AGAIN.
heheee


oh yeah. bro brought home his guy friends.
omg was he an ass or wht.
he told his chinese friends that i watch all these chinese dramas/entertainment shows. and he asked whether his friends can recommend me some of their chinese friends = =
wtf !
and worst, he called my name out when i was in the kitchen .
and when i was thr with thm, my bro stupidly asked " eh. my chinese friend *points finger tuh this guy la* . handsome a not?"

wah freak.

oh well.
must get used to it.
after all, all brothers ARE irritating :D



oh yeah.

happy bdae joel,hazlin&&kitman !
finally u all 16 ahr . ho ho ho ><

MONDAY

happy bdae to me, musyirah & faiz [:
slept late the night before. so many sms-es can.
and my abang finally sms-ed me.
abang ku yang tersayang (:(:

anw.
thank guys fer all the bdae wishes .
tasvita , chandini , aida , hazlin, aishah , & the rest lahr . shd noe hu u are [:
those whom i seldom talk with - mingxian, daniel, shazni . HAHA .
those in E3 [:

and thanks for the presents yeah guys.
hazlin, fazee, tasvita, naiimah, chandini, aida; musyirah; benjamin, gladys, huixian, liyana, zhihao, shaoyan, vanessa; hamdi; aishah.

and diaos .
ALL MY PRESENTS ARE IN PURPLE !
ahhh ! (its not the shout of joy, mind you. it's not the shout of anger either)
but seriously, thanks [:
at leats u all noe that i love purple. heh heh.

yeah, went to hml.
did the second half of hmt common test paper 2 .
the first half. i did pretty well [:

anw. it was English common test that day. haha !

TUESDAY

mt common test.
HAHA no need to do :P
anw . went home IMMEDIATELY after school to catch my afternoon nap.
CRAZY -.-
studied for combined humans test that afternoon. after my nap.

that night, met hamdi to get my bdae present.
hahaaa . thank you, GONG [:

WEDNESDAY

combined humans.
it was OK lahr. but as usual, my OK can be GOOD, it can also be VERY BAD.
so which one issit this time?
AHHHH god knows.

after that skipped higher malay.
just didnt feel like it.
so went for chemistry remedial.
then went to KFC to study with benjie, haz, huixian & aida.
thn zhihao, jasper&wengrong came.

home sweet home.

didnt study when i reached home.
too tired.
slept after watching Hanakimi, and woke up at 3am to study.

children, last minute study is certainly NOT healthy . (:

THURSDAY

say goodbye to getting at least a C6 for Chemistry&physics papers.
sad sad.

anw, after school. went to KFC with Aida.
we studied [:
and that day, on 1st of March , Aida witnessed the sexual intercourse between cats .
she was amazed and i was the one showering her with some infos that i noe abt cats -.-
HAHAHAA .

TODAY

emaths test.
eeyer ! careless fer the triangleA & F . AHH !
cock eye .

after school, career fair .
but but .
me, aida, huixian, hazlin, tasvita, jasper, zhihao, joseph& huimin.
went to Marina Square instead . SHHHH !
hahahahaaa .

and went thr again after 4.30pm.

walked arnd.
went home.
reached home at 7pm.
just on time to watch Hanakimi , and here i am.

i'm very tired right now.
So. TATA !

Dear Wife,
During the past year I have tried to
make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an
average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did
not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the
baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the
month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up
your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would
hear us
9 times you said your mother would
hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the
activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a
crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and
get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you
I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you
because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......

=======================================
==============


TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little
confused. Here are the reasons you
didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried
to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't come with energy
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got
in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to
play golf
2 times you were in a fight and
someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose
was running
2 times you had a splinter in your
finger
20 times you lost the motion after
thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while
reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because
you missed and were screwing the
sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in
the ceiling, what I said was, "Would
you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because
you farted and I was trying to breathe.


[friendster]